DEVOTION

I visited a temple today. A place of God… so to say.

It was a pretty famous temple in Rajasthan and there were thousands of people waiting eagerly to get some one on one God time. It was a crazy crowd.

I have never really understood the concept of temples, because apparently ‘God’ is everywhere. But, I do like the peaceful ones; they tend to have a calming effect on me.

This famous house of God was filthy!!! There was garbage strewn all across the floors (and everyone was barefoot, obviously!), there was dirty water getting dirtier by the garbage-infested feet of the devotees who were ignoring it in the NAME OF GOD!! It was vicious cycle. People were pushing each other in order to catch a glimpse of the almighty, not understanding that if you behave yourself in the outside world because God sees all, the only logical thing to do is walk around with a halo on your head when visiting HIS HOUSE! I, unfortunately tried to explain this to a lady, and she just told me to suck it up and pray… which I did.

After standing in the line for nearly two hours, I did get to see what I had travelled 5 hours for… and it lasted for 3 seconds MAX, then I was pushed outside by the tidal wave of devotees.

All I know is, this isn’t how it’s supposed to be. People climbing on top of people, temples turning into profit making machines, people so caught up in the superstitions they have been fed that they become slaves to their own devotion.

Distance

­The winds, they are talking to me, they are telling me about your life; they are trying to replicate your laughter and your smile. They are saying the things you would have said; if you were here… they are trying to make me smile. The trees watch, filling in the gaps left by the strange orchestra outside my window… they chime in every once in a while, when your throat closes up and your voice shivers with the ferocity of a storm. I have my earphones playing a different song in my ears, but I can see you, I can hear what you want to say. For a moment, there’s stillness, as if we are staring at each other and comprehending the distance between us.

Secret.

Mountains and oceans have wept,

Rivers and forests have wailed in the quiet of the night,

Secrets that no one should ever have to know.

Mountains harden by the truth they keep

And the rivers melt away with every memory

You know me too well, pleads the sky

The wind hushes it and the thunder drowns its cries.

An inkling of an idea

As pieces of the future fall together in our lap, making something from our past, we wonder what it’ll be. We stare at it in silence waiting for it to grow, waiting for it to tell us more, ignite something in us that we know we have forgotten. There is a sort electricity in each memory… we remember nothing, just a sense of how we felt back then. The puzzle is complete; it sits in our lap staring at us waiting for us to respond to its utterly obvious remark. But, there is nothing that we see; there is nothing that is screaming out at us in obvious reciprocation. We pick up the puzzle carefully fondling every piece, feeling too much but understanding nothing at all.

Mommy, I wanna be EVERYTHING!

There’s so much I want to be. There’s so much more I want to believe.

I want to believe in the stories of a five year old, begging me to trust him, each word nudging me to be a wee bit more attentive, to believe in those big, beautiful eyes.

I want to believe in the things I dream of, in the late hours of the night, making me overstay my welcome and lose daylight.

In a world where the future is only measured in degrees I hope that someday, there will be more.

There are so many things I want to be, and none less important than the other. I try to convince myself that, no matter what anyone says, the world is what I want it be. It will let me be several things at the same time; it will let me see miracles unravel before my eyes. It won’t object to what I believe in, cause it wouldn’t have to believe in the same. It’d know in its heart, that though we walk on the same pavement and cross paths everyday, it can choose to live in it’s own separate world and smile as it crosses mine.

In a land of flying parents, talking furniture, spherical rainbows and a god in good terms with the devil, we will all become what we really want to be. Till then, lets look for some great spells, shall we?

Peace

What is peace? Can it be defined? Of course, everything can be defined.

Peace is the power to stop. Peace is the ability to take a deep breath and take a step back. It’s a weapon that only the most powerful possess. It takes strength to be at peace, cause you need to be able to accept the shortcomings of others. You need to be able to completely let go of your inhibitions while keeping yourself together and sane. Peace is not a thought, peace is not an image of a white dove flying across the puzzled sky, it’s not a white flag either; it’s the responsibility that you take for your actions even when the divine voice in your head says, “Screw it, take a shot at that bastard!” Peace is tiny. Peace is that pesky mosquito that you can’t really see, but you feel it bite all over.

Peace is non-existent; there can’t be peace where there is love.

Cause love is instinctive. We can either love each other or be at peace.

There’s too much love in this damn world… if only there were only two things to be.

God.

God.

Your version of it... “It” really?? That’s a little disrespectful, don’t you think?

‘GOD’ it’s such a big word and there are so many levels to each meaning. For some god is someone they can trust to be by their side no matter what catastrophe sneaks up beside them, for some god is an idol who makes the evil they commit less horrifying in exchange for some devotion, for others god is the creator of the mystic land they breathe in everyday; the essence to their very existence, for some he is the almighty who sees everything- punishes the evil and rewards the good and maintains an equilibrium in the universe, for another few god is a power that gives them strength and hope from within…. For me, god is a word too big to define. I have always wanted to be a disbeliever, an atheist… some days I think I am, most days though god to me is the power to do what is right… no matter how hard and ghastly the right path is. It is the strength to not succumb to your most basic mortal instinct, to banish the chances of a divine future only because it would be an “un-holy” one.

Sometimes I think God is a word given to the most prolific imaginations. God is something that you want to deny, but you can’t completely agree with yourself. I believe that ideas are god, they make sense, they help, they rejuvenate and they ignite a sense of growth and happiness. That’s all god should be doing anyway.